Top 5 fattest characters
So here’s a list of the Top 5 game characters with big bones and problems with their glands or whatever…
Fatman – Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons Of Liberty
Fatman is actually only the fifth fattest character in this list, which you’d think would be ironic given that he apparently wears his fatness on his sleeve, or wherever his name badge goes. But he’s not called Fatman because he’s fat, he’s called Fatman because he’s named after a nuclear bomb. It’s just coincidence that he’s a big ol’ tub o’ lard.
Charlie Sidjan – Hitman 2
Not only is Charlie Sidjan fat, he’s also naked and dancing, which serves to emphasise his total utter enormity. The good thing about that belly is that it covers up his little piggly, wiggly ‘manhood’. Most of the time anyway. We should point out that you don’t kill him because he’s fat, you kill him because he’s an enemy of the US government.
Bob – Tekken 6
Bob’s not fat because he’s lazy and lacks self-control, he’s fat because he deliberately made himself that way to increase his weight and strength, and has done it in such a way that he’s still really, really fast. Challenging stereotypes or challenging the laws of science? You decide.
Rufus – Street Fighter IV
Designed specifically to appeal to an American audience, Rufus began life as a toned, black martial artist, but somewhere along the line Capcom decided to make a few subtle changes, and the end result was a fat, white motorcycle mechanic in a tight, zip-up jumpsuit. Is Capcom mocking Americans? Maybe a little, but we’re sure it’s in an affectionate way.
Fat Princess – Fat Princess
The fattest character of all time has to be Fat Princess, at least she is if you’re doing your job and stuffing her full of all that lovely cake. You might remember that the game caused a bit of controversy when it was announced when some fat women took offence at the idea that fat women are funny. It was hilarious! The game ended up not being all that funny or all that good.