Top 5 babies on PlayStation

Spring has sprung at last and is traditionally a popular time to give birth to things so, without further ado, here are some babies…

1.
Heavy Rain
The scene where tough-guy private investigator Scott Shelby takes care of a baby is one of the game’s better moments, giving you a glimpse of a different side to his character than the guy who always seems to end up punching someone. Maybe he should give up the private investigating business and become a full-time nanny.

2.
The Sims 2
On the PC, The Sims 2 had an elaborate and sophisticated baby-making system, which included such details as pregnancy, morning sickness and genetics. Controversially though, you couldn’t make babies at all on the PS2 version. Why? Because Sony hates babies and wants to stop the over-population of Planet Sim? No, probably not.

3.
Dante’s Inferno
There are few things more dangerous in this game than a pack of unbaptised babies on the warpath. The only thing these poor buggers did wrong was dying before they’d been baptised. As punishment they’ve had their arms replaced by long blades and been made to live inside Cleopatra’s boobs.

4.
EyePet
What has all the advantages of a baby, with none of the noise, smell or growing up and disappointing you? Yes, it’s EyePet. All the cuteness, playfulness and innocence of a baby, only you can switch it off as soon as it starts boring or annoying you. It never goes wee wee or poo poo either.

5.
PS3 Advertisement
Ever scarier than the unbaptised babies in Dante’s Inferno is this freaky looking thing from a 2006 PS3 ad. How this is supposed to make us want to buy a PS3 is a complete mystery. We won’t forget it in a hurry, we suppose, but we fear that just means we’ll just get nightmarish visions every time we switch on our PS3 from now on.