REBEL ASSAULT II
PSone
Rebel Assault II isn’t really a videogame. It’s more of a selection of really rubbish FMV clips that are strung together with a whole bunch of risible mini-games. Playing it is almost like laying between Chewbacca’s legs as he takes a Wookiee poo all over our childhood memories. Awful, awful, awful.

JEDI POWER BATTLES
PSone
Is it top-down, or sidescrolling? The camera and combat is so rubbish that we don’t really care what perspective we’re playing Jedi Power Battles in. The only thing preventing us from whittling the CD into a shiv and hunting down George Lucas, is that all other Episode I games were even worse.

MASTERS OF TERAS KASI
PSone
The very idea of a Star Wars beat-’em-up was tantalising enough to whip fanboys into a blind frenzy, but Masters Of Teras Kasi inevitably turned into a vapid and uninspired cash-in. If we didn’t know any better we’d assume LucasArts actually wants to crush our expectations and sully the Star Wars franchise.

EPISODE 1: THE PHANTOM MENACE
PSone
If The Phantom Menace was a kick in the teeth for Star Wars fans, then its videogame tie-in was a wild-eyed chomp to the balls. You had to do two things: tap the fi re button, and hold down the fi re button. If you plan on giving it a go, make sure there’s no razor blades lying around.

BOUNTY HUNTER
PS2
Apart from the vaguely interesting plot, Bounty Hunter serves up so many archetypes of bad game design that we had no other option but to knock ourselves out, and pray that when we woke up someone would have stolen our PlayStation 2 with the Bounty Hunter disc still inside. Utter garbage.

RACER REVENGE
PS2
We know that Play gave Racer Revenge 84%, but we have it on good authority that its reviewer, Ian Dean, suffered from a disease called ‘I’m wrong syndrome’. Racer Revenge was an unwanted sequel to a gimmicky game. If it didn’t have the Star Wars licence it would have been completely ignored.

LETHAL ALLIANCE
PSP
Rubbish fl ying sections, awkward controls and dumbed down, undemanding gameplay. Lethal Alliance, unfortunately, proves that the curse of the Star Wars licence even extends as far as the PSP. It’s a massive lump of apathy that shows no inkling of creativity whatsoever.

REVENGE OF THE SITH
PS2
Sometimes it’s diffi cult to stoke up a hateful feeling towards Star Wars games, because, like Revenge Of The Sith, many of them aren’t terrible, they’re just offensively average (it really is cynicism at its most brazen). Hopefully The Force Unleashed will offer more than this slice of banality.

JEDI STARFIGHTER
PS2
Luke’s Death Star run in New Hope would have been a disaster if Vader could electrocute him from inside his TIE fi ghter. Force powers in space? How did that get past the great ‘chinless one’? Other than this horrible incongruity, Starfi ghter wasn’t that bad. Well, apart from the frame rate (and everything else).

SUPER BOMBAD RACING
PS2
Star Wars licence. Aimed at kids. Inspired by Mario Kart. Super Bombad’s concept alone should have set alarm bells ringing with apocalyptic volume. It’s one of the most misguided ventures we’ve ever had the misfortune of playing, and we wouldn’t wish it upon anyone, least of all children.