IRVINE
(FINAL FANTASY VII)
Ride ’em, cowboy! Actually, never do, because you look like an irredeemable fool. Irvine, as if his name wasn’t ridiculous enough, robs further credibility from the now-untouchable world of the Wild West with this charmless, disgusting number. Get out of the saloon, cowboy. You’re done.

NARIKO
(HEAVENLY SWORD)
Is it really appropriate to be showing half your arse off in the midst of battle? Well, tear your minds away from Braveheart for a minute, because this is important: Nariko’s lack of pride in the women’s movement is sickening, really, and we can’t advocate such a scarlet approach towards appearance.

DANTE IN DIESEL ATTIRE
(DEVIL MAY CRY 2)
We’re not going to attack the big man’s delicious red coat, but we will attack his decision to wear Diesel clothing in the abysmal DMC2. Fewer displays of such camp terror have horrified us more – well, Dale’s return to Supermarket Sweep did it, but this goes a step too far.

NEMESIS
(RESIDENT EVIL: NEMESIS)
Is he naked underneath that jacket? We don’t really want to know, but Nemesis does look like a massive flasher in that trench coat. Resident Evil 3’s late Nineties release date doesn’t make this garment contextually fashionable, either, so we will just be thankful that it covers up his particulars.

THE CLUCKING BELL EMPLOYEES
(GTA: SAN ANDREAS)
Some may argue working in a fast-food restaurant is never easy, but wearing a humiliating costume won’t help matters. The dehumanising (but hilarious) get-up of the Clucking Bell employees is probably better than uniforms of actual fast-food workers, though.

MICKEY MOUSE IN NINJA GARB
(KINGDOM HEARTS)
What? Mickey Mouse is a ninja now? Get out! Granted, it was slightly unbelievable to feature a talking mouse to begin with, but turning him into a golden key-wielding Shinobi badass took his dress sense to frightening new places. It’s certainly more moronic than iconic.

SLY
(SLY RACCOON)
Meh. The roster of lifeless, ugly-looking characters was stepped up a notch when Sly tried to steal the scene with this fiasco of a thieving outfit. His baker boy hat weirds us out. Also, what’s with the hook? Is it used to open windows, or for pimping? Either way, he isn’t wearing any trousers. That’s unacceptable.

CRASH "RAP" BANDICOOT
(CRASH BANDICOOT)
When we dug around for some Crash Bandicoot images last month, we came up trumps with this disturbing disaster! Crash can’t find a sub-culture, huh? We don’t think there’s any real offence intended, here, besides the obvious sickening qualities of his outfit, but still… odd.

VAMP
(METAL GEAR SOLID 4)
Right, so comparing him to Amy Winehouse was harsh (on Amy), but who knows with this monster of homoerotic leanings? We are not too sure about the statement of those buckles, straps and tight trousers, but it probably has something to do with cutting people and bondage. Nasty.

KING
(TEKKEN)
A tiger’s head? Is that really a necessary fashion accessory in this day and age? Well, of course it isn’t. King represents a worrying trend in videogames fashion, merging speedo shorts with animal fur (animal head, anyway). Perhaps a makeover is due for King: a badger head, perhaps?