TAKI
(SOUL CALIBUR)
We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: “Boooiiii- nnn-ggg! That’s the sound of Taki’s breasts”. (It’s wonderful when you can just cut and paste stuff from previous issues.) Taki’s breasts grew by about 62 per cent in the time between Soul Blade and Soul Calibur and gained a staggering 78 per cent more wobble. Jubbly.

LARA CROFT
(TOMB RAIDER)
They must be fake. If they were real they would have slipped into her armpits when she laid on her back but, no, here they are standing firm and proud. Gravity has no effect on Lara’s breasts. We bet you’re glad we didn’t use a picture of her old pyramid-style boobs.

MAI
(KING OF FIGHTERS)
My, my! What a buxom young lady! With chronic back problems by the look of it. Or maybe she’s dropped something and is bending over to pick it up. No, that can’t be right, she’s not even looking at the ground. So why is she posing like that? It doesn’t make sense.

KASUMI
(DEAD OR ALIVE)
Good old Kasumi and her malleable boobs. Heh, remember in the first Dead Or Alive you could change the bounce of their baps by entering your age in the options menu? Don’t put your age as 99, it’s just frightening and will scar you for life.

RACHEL
(NINJA GAIDEN SIGMA)
Phoar! You don’t get many of them to the pound do you? We like Rachel because she seems completely out of place – why is a blonde bombshell strutting around in shiny rubber wielding a massive axe and hanging out with a ninja? Suppose it doesn’t matter that much. Drool!

THE OTHER GIRLS
(FREAK OUT)
In Freak Out you get to pinch stuff with Linda’s magical scarf. But it also stars these huge-breasted women, quite why their breasts are so humongous and round we don’t know. But we do know that Chelsea Charms got the inspiration for her, erm, ‘look’ from Freak Out. Well, probably.

LULU
(FINAL FANTASY X)
Lulu is the kind of girl that if you saw her in a nightclub you’d go up to her and ask her if you could weigh her breasts. If Lulu was drunk enough to say “Yeah, okay” you could totally grab both of them and shout “Wheeeey!”. And then she’d hit you on the head with a moogle.

MORRIGAN
(DARKSTALKERS)
She could suck a bus through a hosepipe. Weakest pun ever in Play? Or maybe you need it explained to you, it’s difficult to judge when you’re the one writing it. Morrigan is a succubus! Succubus/suck a bus, you see? We could have just written ‘pun intended’ but we hate doing that.

SYLVIA
(VIEWTIFUL JOE 2)
Silvia is only here because Samuel insisted. When Tim pointed out that she’s a bit flat and wears glasses, Samuel just said "Exactly". "But this is ten of the best baps," explained Tim. "Yes" said Samuel somewhat confusingly. "But it’s about baps!" "Ahh, but…" said Samuel pointing to his eyes "…glasses" "Baps!" "Glasses!" "Fine!" "Yes!"

EURYALE
(GOD OF WAR II)
Okay, they’re not actually nice breasts to look at, but we’d just like to point out that all breasts will end up like this over time. So if you’re chatting up a girl because she has awesome baps, just remember that once the breasts sag you’ve got to have love to keep you together. Aww.