LARA CROFT
TOMB RAIDER
Let’s face it, who hasn’t leered over this fine rump? Of course, nowadays, we’re all about real-life versions of the rock-climbing hottie. Occasionally we get to meet them. We drool. They look at us with mild disdain and we mistake it for a come-on. This makes us happy.

BLOODRAYNE
BLOODRAYNE
There’s only one thing sexier than a redhead with a tight arse, and that’s a redhead with a tight arse that can rip your throat out in the time it takes for you to say, “I wanted that!” We do have to wonder what all that red meat does to her bowels though.

NARIKO
HEAVENLY SWORD
It’s not just us that like the look of Nariko’s behind. Her opponents always jeer with comments like, “Nice behind.” And why not? If we were going to have our knackers squashed like overripe gooseberries in a steel press, we’d be glad of a little feminine attention.

AYAME
TENCHU
Ninja arse. Yum. Jujitsu is great for buns, so why has no one thought of a ninja workout video. If that spoon-faced whistler from Big Brother can do it, surely someone with years of experience jumping around killing people can make some cash on the side.

E HONDA
STREET FIGHTER II
In order to cause the amount of damage Honda does with his butt, it has to be toned. Normally, most people would advise against going near a sumo wrestler’s bum, but those weird mawashi thongs are strangely sexy. Don’t you think? Or is it just us?

GOLD AND SILVER
GOD HAND
The ‘fabulous duo’ have to be one of the most infuriating boss fights ever. They spend a lot of time slapping each other’s, and their own, asses and being a bit queer. Having your ass slapped that often must be good for keeping your buns tight, we guess.

RACHEL
NINJA GAIDEN SIGMA
Most people talk about Rachel’s large, shapeshifting breasts. But she’s not just a walking mammary gland, as she’s got an impressive derriere, too. Her secret could be the aeration that her outfits allow. A lesson for ladies everywhere.

ROACH
HEAVENLY SWORD
Now this one only gets in by virtue of size and horrific condition. Some folk like a big butt. We can imagine Roach shakin’ that thang in a Snoop Dogg video. We’d also love to see him go to work on that McKeith woman though. “How’s that for superfood, bitch?”

VIEWTIFUL JOE
VIEWTIFUL JOE
Like two pickled eggs fighting in a handkerchief. The spandex must help, but to get a rear like that must demand a rigorous training regime. A regime we’re not willing to embrace. Never mind cracking walnuts on his butt, we reckon he’s more of a coconut guy.

NICK JONES
PLAY MAGAZINE
“If you like your asses white and sloppy, you’ve come to the right place.” So says editor-in-chief Nick Jones, and for once we’re inclined to agree. A combination of being seated all day and a love of doughnuts has ensured his place as the office’s primary butt.