Dead Or Alive 5 – Top 10 things you can expect to see
Rumours that Dead Or Alive 5 is coming to the PS3 are starting to emerge and, for what it’s worth, I asked our Tecmo Koei contact about this very thing a little while ago and he did a really bad job of pretending there was nothing he knew that he couldn’t tell me – he just said “Ummm…” and kept giggling, which I think is as good as a confirmation.
So, what should PS3 gamers not familiar with the Dead Or Alive fighting series (which hasn’t been on a PlayStation platform for ten years)? I’ve compiled this detailed and in-depth guide to its main features to get you up to speed…
10 & 9.
These breasts are slightly smaller and rather less showy than some of the other breasts in the DOA series, but they’re still popular with those who value a little, but really only a little, more modesty.
8 & 7
Christie is an assassin so her breasts are silent, deadly, ruthless and will kill anyone for money. Christie has silver hair and so likes to adorn her breasts in shiny bikini tops so that they match.
6 & 5
Ayane is also an assassin, so her breasts are also silent, deadly and ruthless, possibly even more so than Christie’s, given their enormous size. Her target for assassination is her half-sister Kasumi, whose breasts are more popular despite being slightly smaller.
4 & 3
These breasts explode the myth that ninjas like to go unnoticed, as they make it impossible not to notice Kasumi. These breasts represent hope for ginger girls everywhere – if you’ve got a lovely pair of breasts then no one will even notice you’re ginger.
2 & 1
The undisputed #1 and #2 of all Dead Or Alive’s features have to be Tina Armstrong’s left and right breast, although not necessarily in that order. Tina is a wrestler – you only have to take one look at those breasts before you start choking, submitting and tapping out.