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Mashed
The perfect party game for a summer’s day
Picture the scene: you’ve
finished your exams, and
it’s a glorious summer’s
day. You could go outside,
certainly, but you could also
gather a friend or two and relax
with a good PS2 game. You pick
up Mashed, open a window, start
chatting and laughing, before
forgetting all about your troubles
in its Micro Machines-imitating
simplicity. Everything is perfect.
On the other hand, however,
you could be in outer Siberia,
freezing your arse off with
nothing to do. Chombomkov,
your bearded comrade, passes
you Mashed with a smile: why
not give it a go? Before you know
it, you’ve forgotten the freezing
temperature as you compete
with the hairy Russian; sending
a homing missile his way before
racing him out of the track.
Do you see what we’re getting
at, here?
Mashed is a great
multiplayer game regardless of
where you are, or what you’re
doing. If you’re in prison, right
now, convicted of manslaughter,
then you’ve probably found a
new way of life with Mashed.
Good on you, sir!
Mashed embodies the magic of
those Mega Drive Micro Machines
classics, but it modernises
them without any arrogance or
pretence. There’s speed, but
there’s no subtlety – Mashed
is accessible to everyone
because the level design is just
so easy to memorise. In spite
of the annoying load times and
unoriginal concept, Mashed is
a wonderful piece of mindless
gaming. Seriously, try playing
Mashed without dribbling gently
onto your jeans; it’s impossible,
because the game requires
instinct as standard. To contrast
with the loving serenity of this
scenario, however, the screen
is always awash with bonnetmounted
weaponry, machine-gun
fire, satisfying corner boosting
and angry explosions.
It doesn’t take a genius to
pick up Mashed. Even after dirty
enemies and vicious cliffs have
mauled you off the track, you’re
in control of aerial bombs, a
guaranteed way of balancing out
the scores and bringing weaker
players back into the action.
So, why complain? Perhaps
Micro Machine purists will detest
the somewhat flat themes of each
track, but who cares about them?
They’re in a big office building in
Ipswich, wishing they were dead.
The rest of us get to play Mashed,
and have a bloody good time
doing it. Hooray!
Mashed is so cheap, that some
people will probably pay you to
play it. If that doesn’t happen,
however, pick it up for about
£2 on eBay. |
