7 Features the PSP 2 Needs
The PSP is dead, long live the PSP2. This is something we may be crying in future, but for now let’s just wonder aloud what features Sony’s rumoured new handheld might have.
According to wild, rampant and thoroughly insane speculation by MCV, Sony may well be set to launch a successor to the PSP in the near future. The announcement of this new model is said to be coming around E3 time, though we don’t know anything about it, or even if it’s true at all. So with that in mind we thought we would contribute to the baseless speculation and offer up our suggestions for features of the PSP2. In no particular order:
Free things: The PSP still raises looks of suspicion and comments of derision even from those who bought one. What better way to combat this than by giving away free things – like a sports jacket or fine driving gloves – so the purchaser associates the inevitable feelings of happiness with their new purchase. A bullet proof plan.
4D: 3D is old hat. We need new hat. New hat is the fourth dimension. We’ll leave it up to the techies to figure out how to go about incorporating this.
Tic-Tac dispenser: Need a sweetie while playing? Flip a switch, chow down on the tasty tiny treat that pops out, carry on playing. It really does make sense.
A cheaper price: Not so much a feature, more of a fiscal decision. The first console was rather expensive at launch, and the PSPgo was a joke, price-wise. Make it about £12 for the machine and we’ll all go away happy. Granted, this means the games will have to be about £94 each, but that’s a risk we’re willing to take.
Barcode Battler compatibility: Because we never felt like we got our money’s worth out of our Barcode Battlers in the early 90s – people got bored of them too quickly. It’s certainly a unique selling point, plus retro is always cool.
Five analogue sticks: Because one isn’t enough, and we just want to make sure there can be no complaints. Five of the blighters would cover most anyone, unless an octopus decided to buy a PSP2.
No touch screen: Because a touch screen is what they would want to see.
Feel free to add any suggestions of your own below. We’ll be sure to forward them all on to Sony, even though our ideas are patently better.