PSN Downtime: The ‘Definitely Not Fake’ Sony Response
Play received this letter from a Sony executive (who ‘definitely isn’t’ fake) concerning the PSN downtime. It’s an interesting read (that ‘definitely isn’t’ made-up).
Calm down, like. We’re a bit tired of your pissing and moaning about this whole PSN-being-down situation. We know it’s down. You don’t have to remind us. We’ve got at least three people looking at the problem, including Jeff who’s had a PC the longest out of anyone at work (four years) – so he knows what he’s on about.
The network outage will be sorted. It will be solved. PSN will come back. We’re just not sure when, right now, because we have to make sure this kind of crap doesn’t happen again. Yes, we understand the fact you can’t play CODBLOPS online fills your tiny, stupid hearts with rage, but that’s the way the biscuit flops. We understand you want to play whatever other game it is you unimaginative dweebs flock together to play, but we’re not giving you PSN back until it’s actually fixed.
Yes, this shouldn’t have happened. Yes, bad things have happened. But we actually haven’t done anything wrong, contrary to what many morons on the internets have declared. Rumour has taken the place of fact and blind fury at the fact a non-essential service in your life has been taken away has got in the way of much rational debate. But then, as we mentioned, this is the internets.
So if everyone can just sit the hell down and shut the hell up, we’ll get back on with fixing this piece of crap and re-opening it to you lot. We don’t know why – it’s not like you deserve it after the way you’ve reacted, spoilt, over-entitled little children you are. But we’re a company and we need our product up and out there, functioning properly. We may hate you right now, but that doesn’t mean we don’t want your money.
And for Thor’s sake, you’re getting some free stuff. Even though it’s apparently not good enough, even though we technically don’t have to give you anything, you’re still getting it. So shut up. THANKS.
Gary McSony Exec (definitely “not” fake)
P.S. Xbox sux lol